Sigh. Coping with the my new job as a copy writer, i haven't had much steam to write at all. I believe it stems from the fact that i now have to write everyday, haha. But having raced 3 cars in the last 2 days warrants an entry for everyone on this dying blog. The story begins.
The Story
Once upon a time, in a place known only to some as Kuala Lumpur, a man lived there. His name was 'the Kiler'. He was not a known man, nor was he popular by any means. He lives his life recklessly, upon the road tax dollars pay for.
Rules are for him to defy. He runs through traffic lights, ignoring the concerns and safety of others. He is by definition "cool". Yea that's right, he is a model citizen. (Of course most of you know i am only joking, for the most part.)
Known for being killed by other racers in faster cars, the Killer continues to strive to win. Thankfully, there is a brain between his ears which assures victory through intelligence, rather than violence!
On his way to work with his mighty steed, he encounters a rare spiritually strong individual. Knowing full well the challenge could end in disaster the Killer and his mighty Chin Chin La start their prowl. Their prey is none other than a whtie Impreza WRX with a STI sticker.
Knowing full well the WRX was impeded by the cars in front of him, i struck by getting annoyingly close to his rear bumper. With nothing he could do about it, i could sense his displeasure with me and the car in front.
Finally making his way past the slow traffic, he proceeded to engage boost. He lost me quite easily with his boxer 4 turbo. Not being one to give up i continued to pursue my prey. Making an error in judgement, he stepped on his brakes allowing me to close the distance between us. Obviously unfamiliar with the road, i managed to torture him with the knowledge that "i was king of this road and i know how to use it."
Unable to lose me again before a long right hand turn, the WRX was seemingly unhappy. Knowing full well the limits of my Chin Chin La, i pressed on edging closer and closer to his bumper. With my turn lift, turn accelerate technique, we quickly approached 120km/h around a bend i would normally only take at 100km/h.
Clearing the bend the real chaos began. Opening on to the straight, the WRX hit full stride decimating the competition (me :[ ). Much to my dismay, i lumbered on to work. I only wished i had the power to continue what would have been an eventful race.
Well the other stories shall come another time. I need rest and to play my neglected PS2. Call me nerd, jerk, boring or whatever, but i am making full use of my PS2. So, nyeh!
Friday, June 23, 2006
Friday, June 09, 2006
David vs Goliath
Well I guess I finally got what I wished for. A misrepresentation of what really happened that fateful day.... Ok I'm lying, for the record he did take a faster way than me! Either way, please read and enjoy, I liked it even though it was at my expence.
Okay, let's make this clear. Her name is Betsy. She's a beauty with the brutal scars of 30 years of abuse. Potentially she could be a beauty with all the allure of an American muscle car. But for now she's relegated to being parked under a mango tree with rust slowly eating away at her exterior. Yeah her looks don't say much about her but her heart's in the right place and she gets me from work to home in air-conditioned comfort with radio tunes to keep me company.
It started off as pretty much any other day at the office - reqs, briefs and the dreaded client visit. Jonn graciously offered me a ride (not recommended. See below) to a monorail station carpark where Betsy rests throughout the day. The idea was for both of us to drive to the client's office before heading back home. Throughout the journey Jonn was talking about cars, screaming obscenities at other cars and other things things society would normally refer to as steaming piles of horse manure. This behaviour and talk on various cars and engines are really interesting for petrolheads like Jonn and his friends. It made my brain want to kill itself.
So anyway, as I close the Jonn's car door at the carpark, I jokingly say,
"So Jonn, I'll see you there in 10 minutes?"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It'll be a miracle if you can START your car in 10 minutes"
Jonn then speeds off leaving me in a cloud of dust and sarcasm. Sigh, Jonn at his best. So I get in my car (the driver's side door doesn't lock. But then again only a raging cokehead would steal THIS car) and warm up the engine (it takes a good 5 minutes before it stops spluttering) and drive off to the client's place. I wasn't speeding because the doors might fall off. You have to understand there are some places the rust has actually eaten through the body. No, I'm not kidding.
As I pull into the client's office carpark, I tried to find the familiar Chin Chin La Killer. I couldn't. Wait, was there no parking available that Jonn had to park outside? No, there were plenty of spaces. Could I not see Jonn's car? No, contact lenses were sucking on my eyeball. Could I have been mistaken that I was here earlier than Jonn? No, IQ is too high and powers of observation are at its peak. And it was! IT WAS! I had arrived earlier than Jonn! Okay, I wasn't really that excited. Hehe, I lied, I WAS! I WAS! (epileptic monkey dance here)
I go into the guard house to sign myself in and I was there with a slow-ass security guard that smelled like death and had a problem speaking English. It took him a good 5 minutes to write out a slip for me when I see Jonn driving in. Jonn obviously isn't looking for Betsy so he parks right in front of her. As he gets out I can see his smug-ass face catch a glimpse of Betsy. His jaw drops, eyebrows furrow and he mouth the words, "What the fuck?!" The he mouths the words, "How the fuck?!" And then he mouths, "No fucking way."
As Jonn walks into the guard house all I'm doing is smiling. Jonn starts with,
"How the fuck did you get here faster than me??" "Which way did you take?" "This is fucking bullshit."
"All that power under your hood, Jonn, and it's all a waste. Tsk tsk tsk. All that talk of 128bhp and I got here faster than you!"
"Hey fuck you, man! I wasn't even racing you!"
Neither was I, Jonn. Neither was I.
P/S: I have since quit 'racing' with Jonn and have hung up my racing helmet. This 'victory' will forever be a black eye in the Chin Chin La Killer history and the crowning glory of Betsy. I can now bravely say: The Chin Chin Lah Killer sucks donkey balls.
-The Colleague
Okay, let's make this clear. Her name is Betsy. She's a beauty with the brutal scars of 30 years of abuse. Potentially she could be a beauty with all the allure of an American muscle car. But for now she's relegated to being parked under a mango tree with rust slowly eating away at her exterior. Yeah her looks don't say much about her but her heart's in the right place and she gets me from work to home in air-conditioned comfort with radio tunes to keep me company.
It started off as pretty much any other day at the office - reqs, briefs and the dreaded client visit. Jonn graciously offered me a ride (not recommended. See below) to a monorail station carpark where Betsy rests throughout the day. The idea was for both of us to drive to the client's office before heading back home. Throughout the journey Jonn was talking about cars, screaming obscenities at other cars and other things things society would normally refer to as steaming piles of horse manure. This behaviour and talk on various cars and engines are really interesting for petrolheads like Jonn and his friends. It made my brain want to kill itself.
So anyway, as I close the Jonn's car door at the carpark, I jokingly say,
"So Jonn, I'll see you there in 10 minutes?"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It'll be a miracle if you can START your car in 10 minutes"
Jonn then speeds off leaving me in a cloud of dust and sarcasm. Sigh, Jonn at his best. So I get in my car (the driver's side door doesn't lock. But then again only a raging cokehead would steal THIS car) and warm up the engine (it takes a good 5 minutes before it stops spluttering) and drive off to the client's place. I wasn't speeding because the doors might fall off. You have to understand there are some places the rust has actually eaten through the body. No, I'm not kidding.
As I pull into the client's office carpark, I tried to find the familiar Chin Chin La Killer. I couldn't. Wait, was there no parking available that Jonn had to park outside? No, there were plenty of spaces. Could I not see Jonn's car? No, contact lenses were sucking on my eyeball. Could I have been mistaken that I was here earlier than Jonn? No, IQ is too high and powers of observation are at its peak. And it was! IT WAS! I had arrived earlier than Jonn! Okay, I wasn't really that excited. Hehe, I lied, I WAS! I WAS! (epileptic monkey dance here)
I go into the guard house to sign myself in and I was there with a slow-ass security guard that smelled like death and had a problem speaking English. It took him a good 5 minutes to write out a slip for me when I see Jonn driving in. Jonn obviously isn't looking for Betsy so he parks right in front of her. As he gets out I can see his smug-ass face catch a glimpse of Betsy. His jaw drops, eyebrows furrow and he mouth the words, "What the fuck?!" The he mouths the words, "How the fuck?!" And then he mouths, "No fucking way."
As Jonn walks into the guard house all I'm doing is smiling. Jonn starts with,
"How the fuck did you get here faster than me??" "Which way did you take?" "This is fucking bullshit."
"All that power under your hood, Jonn, and it's all a waste. Tsk tsk tsk. All that talk of 128bhp and I got here faster than you!"
"Hey fuck you, man! I wasn't even racing you!"
Neither was I, Jonn. Neither was I.
P/S: I have since quit 'racing' with Jonn and have hung up my racing helmet. This 'victory' will forever be a black eye in the Chin Chin La Killer history and the crowning glory of Betsy. I can now bravely say: The Chin Chin Lah Killer sucks donkey balls.
-The Colleague
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