Leaving coming, leaving or going?

Ever think about how your mind works? I have, multiple times. I have even thought about how and what makes life. It's all pretty interesting stuff i must say. Funny thing though, you will never have to take a philosophy course to help yourself understand the why, and the what. While Descrates and epistemology may be interesting for a few minutes, studying it will and could kill you. Beware! I should know, i slept through many a Descrates lecture. Wouldn't you think philosphy could be so much more fun if you could think and create your own theory on how the world/universe works? I would have passed that class easy, peezy, lemon squeezy (Shameless referrals to Austin Powers' dialogue are some what funny to me, endure!).

Lately i have been really getting into movies or more like works of art from the past. Stuff like "A clockwork orange" or movies like "2001: A space odyssey." Yes, i am aware that both these movies are made by one man, Stanley Kubrick and, both were made before i was born.

Trying to figure out movies like these, they just make you think. Cos more often than not, you ain't going to figure it out the first time round. I guess i am sucker to foreshadowing, subtle cue dropping, and intricate plots.

Take Roman Polanski, in the movie "Ninth Gate", there a heck of a lot of symbolism in everything the movie did. The red viper, the glowing eyes and other subtle hints that this movie is seriously about raising the devil. Call me morbid but, i love shit like that.

Anyways back to more related, yet disjointed topic. So, this is my theory, sit back and imagine with me a bit.

Theory 1

So, one day i was just farting around class (Could be literal, i can no longer remember in the intricate timings or stench of my own behind >:D), when i thought that my prof was putting me to sleep, just so he could fail me when he sees me sleeping. We were discussing the ever popular "Why are we here and not over there" theory. Kind of got me thinking about what i thought really happens around this here land (Earth, terra ferme, the apple of my eye, the big blue.... Whatever you want to call it).

Ever encounter a situation where you think you have lost your keys but, you could have sworn you put them on your bedside table? You then proceed to look back and forth and all over the house for the keys, only to return to your room and find the keys there exactly where you left them! Spooky shit huh?! Well my friend, you are in luck! I have a perfectly viable explanation for you (Remember, using our imaginations here!).

Everything and everywhere we go, we can only see what is going on in our 3 dimensional view. Of course, the 4 dimension, a popular subject on it's own, also exists.

How does this apply? I figure there are little blue people/elf/thingy-ma-bobs, they have the job of creating things and items that occupy space within your vision. For example, your room and everything within it. They are professional and detailed to the core, much like a swiss watch, intricate in every detail. But, sometimes we humans are too fast for them, and they get rushed into completing a room before they can complete the re-creation, leaving out items which were there.

How does this make sense? The theory functions like this - when you are not in a room, it ceases to exist. The material which was used, is used to create some other room or area by the blue people! Amazing don't you think? So, while life in itself is cyclical, same rule applies here, only our reality can only be governed by what we see and the room isn't always there even when you can't see it. In a sense, if a tree falls in a forest without anyone there, it doesn't make a sound, because it didn't exist yet, because no one was there (Cue suspenseful yet enlightening music)!

There you go, a quirky yet totally plausible explanation :P! By the way, the blue people live in the 4th dimension, outside of our sight.

Theory 2

So, what happens when you die? Do you go to heaven or hell? Or what? I have an answer!

There is no heaven, or hell, or re-incarnation. When we die, exhaust, pass on, take a dirt nap, whatever you want to call it. We all get sent to the... Are you ready for this..... The Ham Sandwich Dimension!

Ah yes, THSD (The Ham Sandwich Dimension), where everyone goes to eat ham sandwiches for the rest of eternity. At face value, there is no distinction between good person and bad person. But, taking a closer look at the whole situation, there is some degree of separation in THSD.

You see, while i was in military school, we used to have to eat ham sandwiches for our house meeting days. Sometimes the sandwiches were real good and other times, they were disgusting! What the kitchen in the mess hall does is, pre-make the sandwiches like 2 days beforehand and sticks them in the fridge. It's two pieces of bread, cheese and a piece of ham, frozen... for two days... Disgusting trust me. The good sandwiches were the one's made with salami and other types of tasty meat that weren't made 2 days in advance. We used to cheat being in the privileged barracks, we used toast our pre-made sandwiches, which instantly made them better tasting! Mmm good toasted bread frozen meat!

Anyways that's how i came up with the premise for my theory. Back to the theory (Not much longer, i promise).

This is how it works in THSD.

A bad person will have to eat cold mushy crappy tasting ham sandwiches for eternity as his punishment. Yes, there are degrees of bad tasting sandwiches! They range from cold and frozen, to curdled green cheese, vegetarian ham sandwiches, and so on and so forth until you reach the ultimate level of badness.... THSD's moudly, gangrene, rotten, half eaten by a dog, pissed on by a 2 dollar village hooker, who than began to stroke her rotten black puss spewing crotch, decorated by smorgasboard of genital herpes (Sorry, got a little carried away)!

Yeap, you can imagine that being a bad person sucks ass in any theory, religion, belief, whatever you want to call it! Just for your information, there are 9 levels of bad person-ness in THSD.

A good person on the otherhand, gets to have nice oven toasted subs made by Quizno's (For those who do not know what, or who Quizno's are, they are simply put - the best sandwich sub making gods of the known universe, capable of inducing writhering ecstasy upon their hungry customers! Search google if you have to). There are no levels in the good person area. Only topping choices and condiment selection, where no dim-witted ass monkey will mess up your order of burger and fries without the tomatoes!

Ah eternity would be good.... If only they had beer! :P

Trust .... So important!

Braap braap braap braap!

It booms louder and looms closer than you think. It is there to haunt, it is there to torture, and there to pilage whatever sense of skill you felt you might have had. It stalks loudly to let you know that it is coming for you. It ignores all formal laws and defies the gods of acoustics. It is .... My new exhaust made by Trust 2.5 inch diameter accompanied by 2.2 inch piping with 2 inch bends! >:D

Back to real life for a moment. This weekends crowning moment was the installation of hell's very own exhaust. Despite the risk of countless and pointless money being spent on tickets i believe that i made a sound purchase (Get it?). Rest assured for those who have already witnessed its monstrous sound, i will be tuning it down more with another mid pipe silencer, for the sake of my own sanity, hehe. I must admit, nailing the throttle never sounded so rich before, the results were clearly evident, acceleration was much better. FYI: Previously i was using a 1.8 inch pipe and a 2 inch exhaust.

Sadly i didn't get a chance to really lay it out against anyone yet so, i guess the stories are currently on hiatus. Gas price hike doesn't promote driving fast!

Not sure what else to write about, other than the fact my gasket didn't get installed yet. Planning for a port and polish job and getting it put in at the same time hehe.

Au bientot (Minus the accents)!